A lot of good...

Coming out of church,Mrs Smith asked her husband,"Do you think that Johnson girl is tinting her hair?""

I didn't even see her,"admitted Mr.Smith."

And that dress Mrs.Davis was wearing,"continued Mrs. Smith,"Really, don't tell me you think that's the proper outfit for a mother of two

." "I'm afraid I didn't notice that either,"said Mr.Smith.

'Oh for heaven's sake, "snapped Mrs.Smith.'A lot of good it does you to go to church."
'

well Pappy....I guess we know who wear the "pants" in that household...lol

New Found Respect.....

There were these three guys talking.Two of them were talking about the amount of control they have over their wives,while the third guy remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,"Well what about you,what sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow puffs out his chest and says,"Well I'll tell you.Just the other night my wife came to me crawling on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed! Their eyes are wide and they have a newfound respect for this guy."Wow!What happened then?"they asked.

The third guy sighed and replied,"She said,'get out from under that bed and fight like a man!"

Hey pappy it's me AK with a new name........And I'm a bit "Carrie'd" away this morning if ya don't mind LOL!!!....I just thought of that one and I had to say it. :-)

Too funny, pappy. Student fred put up the socks sign. I recognize his responsive response!!!!

Proper Attire.....

Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University of Victoria.To enforce the rule,the management posted this notice:"Shoes are required to eat in this cafeteria."

Next to it, a student added,"Socks can eat wherever they want."

Lawyer...

When my mother was called for jury duty,she felt confident of her ability to answer the questions asked of prospective jurors.As a young attorney,I filled her in on what to expect.Asked about the occupations of family members,Mom answered, my son is a lawyer."As a follow up she was asked if she had ever used the services of an attorney. "Only to mow my lawn,"

Little Johnny on the Playground...

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground,Ms.Smith stopped to gently reprove the child."Little Johnny," she said, smiling sweetly."when I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that." "Well," Little Johnny said, looking up, "You can't say you weren't warned."

Thanks pappy for all your goodness and kindness that you bring to Carries board!! Go pappy!!!

Been there, done that! A very, very, very long time ago, but I remember it well. Easter dress -- possibly the only new one I would get until it was too small. Thanks for the memory, pappy!

Prayers....

A little girl,dressed in her Sunday best,was running as fast as she could trying not to be late for Bible class.

As she ran she prayed,
"Dear Lord,please don't let me be late!Please Lord don't let me be late!

As she was running and praying,she tripped on a curb and fell,getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
She got up,brushed herself off and started running again.

As she ran,she once again started to pray
"Dear Lord,please don't let me be late! But don't shove me either."

No, a complete sentence needs a subject and verb..."yes" is simply just a short answer

Wouldn't "yes" and "no" be the shortest sentences?

Beautiful story, pappy. Thank you.

Thanks for the story Pappy! Great message!

Pappy- I GIVE YOU A THUMBS UP!! I tried to click on the thumbs up button, but some reason it won't let me!! HAVE A BLESSED DAY!!

Thanks Pappy for this Great and Inspirational Story!! It is such a comfort to know that God will always be here for us no matter what we are going through and when nobody else is there! Also without God we have nothing, but with God we have everything!! This is indeed a WONDERFUL DAY!!

Pappy, I just returned from checking in today, what a wonderful day it is. Thanks for this, just completed my checking in! Pappy what an inspiration you are, made me happy to read that I had already checked in-Happy tears now!

Oh Pappy......thank-you so much for this Sunday message.....tears certainly follow the words you wrote.....I love inspirational stories....the ones where these special people, seemingly with what appears to be nothing....no friends....no family.....but they know....they have everything when they have God.....and that....mixed with tears....puts a smile on my face....gonna go check in now....Thanks again Pap....your a special one!!!!!(!)

Jim Checking In:

A minister passing through his church in the middle of the day,decided to pause by the altar and see who came to pray.Just then the back door opened,a man came down the aisle.The minister frowned as he saw the man hadn't shaved in a while. His shirt was kind of shabby and his coat was worn and frayed.The man knelt,bowed his head, then rose and walked away.In the days that followed,each noontime came this chap, each time he knelt just for a moment,a lunch pail in his lap. Well, the minister's suspicions grew,with robbery a main fear, he decided to stop the man and ask him,"Whatcha' doin' here?'

The old man,he worked down the road.Lunch was half an hour.Lunch-time was his prayer time,for finding strength and power."I stay only moments,see 'cause the factory is so far away;As I kneel here talkin' to the Lord,this is kinda'what I say: "I just came again to tell you Lord how happy I have been since we found each other's friendship and you took away my sin.I don't know much of how to pray but I think of You every day so Jesus this is Jim checkin' in"

The minister,feeling foolish,told Jim that was fine.He told the man he was welcome to come and pray just any time.Time to go, Jim smiled,said "Thanks".He hurried to the door The minister knelt at the altar,he'd never done it before.His cold heart melted,warmed with love,met with Jesus there.As the tears flowed,in his heart he repeated old Jim's prayer: I just came to tell you Lord how happy I have been since we found each other's friendship and You took away my sin,I don't know much of how to pray but I think of You every day,so Jesus this is me checkin' in..

Past noon one day, the minister noticed that old Jim hadn't come.As more days passed without Jim,he began to worry some.At the factory,he asked about him,learning he was ill.The hospital staff was worried,but he'd given them a thrill.The week that Jim was with them brought changes to the ward.His smiles,a joy contagious.Changed people, his reward.The head nurse couldn't understand why Jim was so glad, when no flowers,calls, or cards came,not a visitor he had.. The minister stayed by his bed,he voiced the nurse's concern :No friends came to show they cared. He had nowhere to turn.Looking surprised,old Jim spoke up and said with a winsome smile:"The nurse is wrong,she couldn't know,that all the while everyday at noon He's here,a dear friend of mine,you see.He sits right down,takes my hand, leans over and says to me:"I just came again to tell you Jim, how happy I have been since we found this friendship and I took away your sin.I always love to hear you pray,I think about you every day.And so Jim this is Jesus checkin' in"